Christmas Cracker Jokes

What to laugh out loud with one of our Christmas jokes? These cracker jokes are fun for the whole family.

How do elves greet each other?

'Small world, isn't it?'

Thanks to Jordon from United Kingdom

What game do reindeers play in their pen?

Stable-tennis!

Thanks to Beula from Russia

What Christmas carol is sung in the desert?

O'Camel Ye Faithful!

Thanks to Loria from Iceland

What is the wettest animal in the world?

A rain-deer

Thanks to Julia from Denmark

What do you call a cat in the desert?

Sandy Paws

Thanks to Deena from Ireland

What happened when the snowman's dog melted?

He had a slush puppy!

Thanks to Vincenza from Malta

What is Santa's wife called?

Mary Christmas!

Thanks to Violeta from Poland

What do call a polar bear wearing ear muffs?

Anything you want as he can't hear you!

Thanks to Solange from Andorra

What king of paper likes music?

Rapping paper!

Thanks to Marline from Slovakia

What did the snowman say to the carrot?

Get out of my face!

Thanks to Latoyia from Slovakia

What did the sea say to Santa?

Nothing, it just waved!

Thanks to Brittany from Cyprus

What is it called when Father Christmas stops for a rest?

Santa Pause!

Thanks to Ignacia from Malta

What do you get if Father Christmas goes down the chimney while the fire is lit?

Krisp Kringle!

Thanks to Eddie from United Kingdom

What nationality is Father Christmas?

North Polish!

Thanks to Merlin from Montenegro

What's the best thing to put in a mince pie?

Your teeth

Thanks to Bonnie from United Kingdom

What did Santa say when he won a saucepan in a raffle?

Now that's what I call pot luck!

Thanks to Keith from Germany

Why does St. Nick always go down the chimney?

Because it soots him!

Thanks to Augustina from France

Why did Santa go to the doctors?

Because he had low elf-esteem!

Thanks to Daryl from United Kingdom

What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective?

Santa Clues!

Thanks to Gregoria from Germany

What do you call a man who claps at Christmas?

Santapplause!

Thanks to Charmaine from France

What ship would you take to a party?

An ice-breaker

Thanks to Rosalinda from Poland

Knock knock

Who's there? Eskimo Eskimo who? Eskimo questions and I'll tell you now lies

Thanks to Angle from Spain

Why did scrooge buy everyone birds for Christmas?

Because they were going cheap!

Thanks to Harley from Iceland

What do you call an Eskimo's cow?

An Eski-moo!

Thanks to Robby from Ireland

Why did the turkey cross the road?

To prove he wasn't chicken!

Thanks to Coleen from Iceland

How did the snowman keep cool at a football match?

He sat by the fans!

Thanks to Marine from Spain

What is the warmest athlete in winter?

A long jumper!

Thanks to Natalie from Malta

What did the farmer get for Christmas?

A cow-culator!

Thanks to Anglea from Andorra

What do elves do after school?

Their Gnomework!

Thanks to Markita from Spain

Why did the reindeer take a ruler to bed with him?

So he could see how long he slept!

Thanks to Hobert from Norway

Which two letters of the alphabet do snowmen prefer?

I.C

Thanks to Roseanne from Greece

What do sheep sing at Christmas?

Ewele-tide carols!

Thanks to Sibyl from Greece

What do you do with a green reindeer?

Wait until he ripens!

Thanks to Doloris from Belgium

What kind of insect hates Christmas?

A hum-bug

Thanks to Shonda from France

What is the best Christmas present for a train conductor?

Platform shoes!

Thanks to Kimberly from United Kingdom

What goes 'ho, ho, ho', plop?

Santa Clause laughing his head off!

Thanks to Jules from Iceland

What do elves use to make Christmas cake?

Elf-raising flour!

Thanks to Kandace from Denmark

Why didn't the lobster share his Christmas treats?

Because he was shellfish

Thanks to Ines from Norway

Will Santa launch an online alternative to his usual delivery service?

He's toying with the idea!

Thanks to Emma from United Kingdom

Where would a reindeer go if it lost it's tail?

To a 're-tail' shop

Thanks to Eliz from Germany

What do you get if you cross a snowman with a baker?

Frosty the dough-man!

Thanks to Ettie from Ireland

How did the Eskimo find a way to keep the roof on his house?

Iglood it!

Thanks to Olinda from Spain

Who is Santa's favourite singer?

Elf-is Presley!

Thanks to Astrid from Greece

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?

Claustrophobia!

Thanks to Bangy from Greece

What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?

A Holly Davidson!

Thanks to Simon from United Kingdom

What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?

A Christmas Quacker!

Thanks to Solomon from Australia

What says Oh Oh Oh?

Santa walking backwards!

Thanks to Hui from South America

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